To understand the power of habits we have to understand the habit curve!
Why do people fail when forming new habits?
For example, people set the goal to lose weight and because of that, they want to run 10km twice a week! This goal requires a new behaviour but, at a certain point, you will get hungry and when you pass a fast food store you think:
“A big mac won’t do any harm.”
You eat a big mac. Do you have an instant gratification at that moment? Yes.
What if it was a salad? Do you have an instant gratification? For a lot of people, the answer is no!
Then, after a while, you are going out 2 or 3 times to eat the big mac. And in this way, there are no results.
To get results, there has to be a commitment because sometime after practicing the new habit, the results will jump up (good) and down (bad). It’s the habit curve!
VLet’s then make a commitment to a new habit for the next month!
Just one habit, otherwise it is too much information and that leads to confusion, frustration, and blocks, and these lead to inaction!
If you condition just one habit, you have a great chance of succeeding.
If this habit has an altruistic nature, the probability of success is even greater. If it is just egocentric, you can succeed, but there is less likely to happen!
Notice the marathon example: a lot of people run the marathon for some cause – and those causes are altruistic goals.
When you think “I want to lose weight because I don’t like my belly”, it is an egocentric goal.
When you claim “I want to have more energy so I can give more to my kids”, it is an altruistic goal!
When you say “I want to have more energy so I can be an example to my husband/wife”, it is an altruistic goal!
Acceptance is the first step to change! For example, someone who is overweight and wants to lose weight. First, that person has to accept they are overweight and then they can choose to lose weight!
There are 2 forms of driving force that lead us to make it happen:
, it’s a will, it’s good at the moment, it’s fuel with fire, but, however, it is limited, you have to always feed it, like fuelling up a car. You will have to constantly do it. It is egocentric. It is always temporary and numbs you for the moment! We can “buy 2kg” of motivation at a seminar.
it’s different and transcends you. The fuel comes from within you, from the contribution to something greater than you, it is altruistic!
The difference between the two is simple: either you focus on yourself or you focus on something greater than you! Either focusing on you or on others!
Why? Because that’s where the power comes from, and this comes from the contribution!
Motivation is different; it’s like having something to prove to the world, like having to catch a “rabbit”. Choose a new habit for this month! Now imagine having a new habit every month!
In a year, there will be 12 new habits, consciously chosen! You think you can change your life? It’s an overnight difference, for most people!
Nevertheless, most people never understand out to get out of this trap that they are stuck into.
Commit now to what will be your new habit: stop watching the news, having a better diet, telling your kids that you love them every day, etc.
Choose and write it down! If you do that it becomes real!
How many people will be happy with their new habit? Think about it.
In conclusion, the first step to get out of emotional immaturity is to have new habits to leave the negative curve of habits and thus raise your standards.